Tomorrow I'll be legally and Islamically married, is'A.
Oh. My. Lord. I'm not really experiencing cold feet or any kind of fear, but like any major decision, one has to feel a bit nervous. I simply feel excited and blessed.
Today, Musaad and I met with the imam. It was a meeting regarding the details of tomorrow. After the meeting, I got into the car and started crying. Of course, this freaked out Musaad who put a wtf-you-were-just-smiling-a-second-ago face. He got all confused and nervous and was like, "why are you crying?" And I said, "because this is the most important day of my life. I feel so happy!" Of course, this made him even more confused. It's a girl thing, I suppose. We cry when we are happy. At least I do. Every time I would calm down, I'd start all over again at the strangest times (like in the middle of eating our lunch at AppleBee's).
I feel so comfortable and relaxed. I'm right where I am supposed to be.
Gabiltu (I accept), is'A.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Nikah invites
Although the Islamic engagement will be private (between my fiance and I, my parents and two close friends), I decided to print some cute invitations. I didn't want to spend too much for this small ceremony, so I am thrilled at the $12 invitations I found at Party City. I had to print them using my own printer, but they are really good quality: stock card, embossed polka-dot borders and a bow.
Yes, printed and assembled by yours truly.
Uh-dorable!
Yes, printed and assembled by yours truly.
Uh-dorable!
I did learn that I do not have talent for tying bows.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Islamic ceremony (nikah)
Just a little info for those who are not familiar with the Islamic marriage ceremony.
If both individuals who are getting married are Muslim, they normally have an Islamic marriage ceremony that precedes a reception celebration. During this ceremony, the groom presents the bride with a mahr (bridal gift--in the form of money or any other valuable asset). No, the mahr isn't exactly what we commonly understand as a "dowry". The Muslim man never purchases his bride nor is the mahr given to the bride's family. The mahr is a gift to the bride from the groom. We can compare the function of the mahr to that of an engagement ring--it's a gift. More specifically, the mahr is intended for the bride to use to prepare herself (in any way she chooses) for the wedding.
In some traditions, the bride and groom also exchange rings. Musaad and I will be doing that at the nikah.
After the groom presents the bride with a mahr, she will either accept it or decline it. If she accepts it, the bride and groom will be asked by a Muslim officiate if they both mutually consent to join in marriage. The bride has to consent and the groom has to consent. They consent in front of at least two witnesses.
Once the two parties consent, they are Islamically husband and wife. The bride and groom, however, should have their marriage license notarized in order to be legally married as well.
That's the summary.
Musaad and I will have a private Islamic ceremony next Sunday (October 30th), insha'Allah, at The Biltmore Hotel. This will be followed by pictures and some sweets--of course! <3
Why a private Islamic ceremony? For many reasons. Mainly, the nikah will serve as an "exchange of rings" ceremony. This will be like an engagement period before the celebration in December. Making the ceremony private also helps with the pre-wedding anxiety. Get the legal and religious stuff out of the way, organize ourselves financially, and enjoy the last days of our bachelor(ette) lives before a wedding party.
I also decided to wear a headscarf for the nikah with an orange silk tunic and brown linen pants (think Miami; feel autumn). After the nikah, I will change into another dress (pictured below), but in dark green for sexier pictures.
If both individuals who are getting married are Muslim, they normally have an Islamic marriage ceremony that precedes a reception celebration. During this ceremony, the groom presents the bride with a mahr (bridal gift--in the form of money or any other valuable asset). No, the mahr isn't exactly what we commonly understand as a "dowry". The Muslim man never purchases his bride nor is the mahr given to the bride's family. The mahr is a gift to the bride from the groom. We can compare the function of the mahr to that of an engagement ring--it's a gift. More specifically, the mahr is intended for the bride to use to prepare herself (in any way she chooses) for the wedding.
In some traditions, the bride and groom also exchange rings. Musaad and I will be doing that at the nikah.
After the groom presents the bride with a mahr, she will either accept it or decline it. If she accepts it, the bride and groom will be asked by a Muslim officiate if they both mutually consent to join in marriage. The bride has to consent and the groom has to consent. They consent in front of at least two witnesses.
Once the two parties consent, they are Islamically husband and wife. The bride and groom, however, should have their marriage license notarized in order to be legally married as well.
That's the summary.
Musaad and I will have a private Islamic ceremony next Sunday (October 30th), insha'Allah, at The Biltmore Hotel. This will be followed by pictures and some sweets--of course! <3
Why a private Islamic ceremony? For many reasons. Mainly, the nikah will serve as an "exchange of rings" ceremony. This will be like an engagement period before the celebration in December. Making the ceremony private also helps with the pre-wedding anxiety. Get the legal and religious stuff out of the way, organize ourselves financially, and enjoy the last days of our bachelor(ette) lives before a wedding party.
I also decided to wear a headscarf for the nikah with an orange silk tunic and brown linen pants (think Miami; feel autumn). After the nikah, I will change into another dress (pictured below), but in dark green for sexier pictures.
Oh, and Musaad just bought two new suits. When I asked him "why two suits?" He answered: "Well, for future events...like you know, to celebrate your PhD, or something like that." I haven't even been accepted to the PhD yet and he's imagining a celebration for me. This is why he's wonderful. Teeeheeee :-)
The dress and ring...
This is the ring...It's getting sized as I type. Hopefully it is ready before the private Islamic ceremony next weekend.
This is what I have in mind...isn't it lovely?
This is what I have in mind...isn't it lovely?
Keepin' it cool
Yesterday, I went dress shopping with my mother. I visited David's Bridal at The Mile because I used to work there are know many of the girls who still work there. When my friends asked me why I was visiting the bridal, I told them it was because I was engaged.
Some girls were like OMG OMG OMG and that was the part where I was supposed to jump and yell: "I am getting hitched, bitches!" But I didn't because, really, it just isn't me. One of the girls said to me: "You are so mellow!"And my girlfriend, Evelyn, said, "yea, she is always like this."
Don't get me wrong. I am happy and feel so blessed that I will soon marry the man I love. I feel extremely grateful and fulfilled. I simply don't let my excitement burst through my seams. You know how some people cross their fingers? My silence and containment is the equivalent of that. I like to keep the most important things in a safe place...sometimes, expressing too much excitement makes me uncomfortable.
Hell, my mother is going nuts giving orders and I'm simply sitting back and watching my wedding being created before my eyes. Perhaps I don't really mind because I have never had a set idea of what my wedding should be like. In a way, it's pretty exciting figuring out what style works for me. I've seen friends plan their weddings, yet I've never really imagined mine. It's not that I never imagined getting married. I have imagined it, but it's a totally different story when it becomes real. One thing is for sure...there are way too many things to think about. I don't mind sharing the thinking with mom--let's call her Chief Mother.
There are so many other things that come along with marriage. Apartment, furniture, organizing one's finances, paperwork--and that's the least of it. The precise shade of the linen simply isn't a priority for me right now. My aim is simple. I want to be with the man I love in the most intimate of ways: as husband and wife. If we can achieve that without losing our cool, that's a success. It also helps that Musaad is as cool as they come. His calmness calms me.
I am mellow. I am grateful to remain mellow as I plan my wedding. Why? Because I get to enjoy what matters most without letting bows and ruffles ruin my day. Chief Mother can take care of that.
The most important obstacles have already been overcome. My family is happy with my engagement and they accept my fiance. At first, I was afraid they would not accept my marriage to Musaad because of our different cultural backgrounds--he is born-Muslim from Kuwait and I am born-Christian from the U.S. My mother once asked me if we understand each other well (due to our different "Englishes"). We really do. We talk about complicated things in simple ways--we laugh off the trivial things. There are many more similarities than differences between us. I mean, basics are always the basics, right? We are honest and loyal with one another. We respect each other's cultures. We compromise when we disagree. We comfort one another when we need it. My parents can see that--thank God.
This afternoon, my mother and I will look at venues. We are thinking about having a December wedding at a restaurant with only close family and friends. A nice, short celebration. This is what I want--simple, beautiful and joyful.
The planning begins today with momzilla. I mean, Chief Mother. If there is anything I have learned since my engagement, it is that Chief Mother is in charge. She frightens my fiance and I...but she's the Mother-of-the-Bride. Or whatever. I have to be gentle with her and let her call the shots--which is perfectly fine with me.
Some girls were like OMG OMG OMG and that was the part where I was supposed to jump and yell: "I am getting hitched, bitches!" But I didn't because, really, it just isn't me. One of the girls said to me: "You are so mellow!"And my girlfriend, Evelyn, said, "yea, she is always like this."
Don't get me wrong. I am happy and feel so blessed that I will soon marry the man I love. I feel extremely grateful and fulfilled. I simply don't let my excitement burst through my seams. You know how some people cross their fingers? My silence and containment is the equivalent of that. I like to keep the most important things in a safe place...sometimes, expressing too much excitement makes me uncomfortable.
Hell, my mother is going nuts giving orders and I'm simply sitting back and watching my wedding being created before my eyes. Perhaps I don't really mind because I have never had a set idea of what my wedding should be like. In a way, it's pretty exciting figuring out what style works for me. I've seen friends plan their weddings, yet I've never really imagined mine. It's not that I never imagined getting married. I have imagined it, but it's a totally different story when it becomes real. One thing is for sure...there are way too many things to think about. I don't mind sharing the thinking with mom--let's call her Chief Mother.
There are so many other things that come along with marriage. Apartment, furniture, organizing one's finances, paperwork--and that's the least of it. The precise shade of the linen simply isn't a priority for me right now. My aim is simple. I want to be with the man I love in the most intimate of ways: as husband and wife. If we can achieve that without losing our cool, that's a success. It also helps that Musaad is as cool as they come. His calmness calms me.
I am mellow. I am grateful to remain mellow as I plan my wedding. Why? Because I get to enjoy what matters most without letting bows and ruffles ruin my day. Chief Mother can take care of that.
The most important obstacles have already been overcome. My family is happy with my engagement and they accept my fiance. At first, I was afraid they would not accept my marriage to Musaad because of our different cultural backgrounds--he is born-Muslim from Kuwait and I am born-Christian from the U.S. My mother once asked me if we understand each other well (due to our different "Englishes"). We really do. We talk about complicated things in simple ways--we laugh off the trivial things. There are many more similarities than differences between us. I mean, basics are always the basics, right? We are honest and loyal with one another. We respect each other's cultures. We compromise when we disagree. We comfort one another when we need it. My parents can see that--thank God.
This afternoon, my mother and I will look at venues. We are thinking about having a December wedding at a restaurant with only close family and friends. A nice, short celebration. This is what I want--simple, beautiful and joyful.
The planning begins today with momzilla. I mean, Chief Mother. If there is anything I have learned since my engagement, it is that Chief Mother is in charge. She frightens my fiance and I...but she's the Mother-of-the-Bride. Or whatever. I have to be gentle with her and let her call the shots--which is perfectly fine with me.
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